Not fine at all
by MexeRG
Summary: Voldemort is gaining power and war is about to break in the wizarding world. While most are untrusting, Blaise and Ginny learn to trust each other and see beyond their house colors. AU. Rated MA for later chapters.
1. I'm (not) fine

Disclaimer: I own nothing from the HP universe.

Blaise could see Danielle's lips moving as they walked down Diagon Alley, but none of the words made it to his ears. It was as if they dropped from her mouth into oblivion. But he knew that it was his brain that refused to focus on her and what she was saying. How could he after seeing the flash of auburn hair a little ways down the street?.

Blaise inhaled sharply. Could it be her? Too much had happened since the last time he had seen her, since the day she turned her back on him and walked away down the cold hallways of the Hogwarts' dungeons. Would she care that he was still alive? Or had she erased him from her mind completely? He was scared to find out. However, he could not bring himself to stop his feet to walk on the direction where he had seen her… part of her. He had to know.

Blaise didn't realize that his breathing had become heavy and his face pale until Dani touched his hand. At first the words didn't register, but he knew he had to answer so he focused on the moving lips.

"Blaise, are you alright?", Danielle asked, worry in her eyes.

"I'm fine", he answered with a smile. "Really", he added when he saw the incredulous look on her face. But inside Blaise could feel his body burning up with fear and desire. What would happen when she saw him? He looked back at Danielle, he did really care about her. But no one, not even she could fill the dark whole Ginny had left behind when she walked away.

"_I'm not fine at all_", Blaise thought to himself as he kissed Danielle on the tip of her nose. "_I'm really not fine at all"_.

**A/N**: After years away from and writing I am back! If you are still waiting for updates on "The Unknown Legend" I am sorry to say they are not coming just yet. I need to ease back into this, so I rather leave it there until I feel comfortable enough to finish it or re-do it.


	2. Home for Christmas

The eagle owl followed Blaise's movements with his beady black eyes, and even though Blaise knew that there was no chance the bird could tell his mother how upset he was it made him nervous to have it in his bedroom. But the owl would not leave without a letter, and his hands were shaking too damn hard to pick up the quill, let alone to write a proper response to his mother's request.

When he finally managed to gain some control over his limbs and fingers, Blaise ran over to his desk and wrote a quick reply.

_Mother,_

_You can expect me home on Christmas break. I would rather not raise any suspicions. Rumors spread like wildfire in this silly little school._

_-Blaise._

As he placed the dot besides his name he knew that there was no way out, no turning back. His fate was sealed. He was to follow in his family's footsteps, no questions asked. he had thought about running away many times before, but he knew that as long as his mother lived there was no chance of hiding for long.

"Bloody hell", he hissed between clenched teeth, as he slammed his closed fist onto the table. It stung but it didn't cause much damage or relief. He wanted to scream, he wanted to hurt his mother, but he also wanted to live and if he didn't want to end up dead before his next birthday he would do as he was told. He would go home for Christmas, accept the Mark and become a Death Eater.

Blaise stood up and attached the note to the eagle owl that was still perched on his bed's headboard. The bird stood still until it felt the last tug, at which point it spread it's wings and flew out the window.

"Maybe death isn't such a bad choice", he said out loud as he waited for the owl to disappear from view.

Ginny laid on her bed after a grueling first week back at Hogwarts. She didn't know if the intensity of the school work was due to her status as a sixth year, or if it was the teachers way of keeping the students' mind busy and away from the dangers of the imminent war. But no matter how many papers she had to write or how many spells she had to memorize, there was no way she would focus on anything but the war.

She had seen Ron, Harry and Hermione dissaperate the day of Bill's wedding, and even though she knew it was their way of protecting the rest of them, Ginny felt a twinge of resentment against them. They could have stayed, they could have fought. She had fought. She had send hexes flying left and right. She had even knocked out a Death Eater.

Ginny sighed. It hadn't matter how well she had fought that day or how many times she had spoken to her parents, Molly and Arthur had forced her into the Hogwarts Express and back for another year of potion making and book reading. How would that help her prepare for what was coming? Ginny already knew far more than her classmates or than any other seventh year - except for Hermione of course-, after all she had spent all of her summer studying, making potions and practicing her dueling skills. She could drop out of school and still not be missing anything important. It was so irritating, she would have rather spent her time with The Order, preparing for the war.

At this point there was nothing she could do, she would keep on training by herself and hopefully by Christmas time her parents would see that education was far from important considering what was going on in the world. Besides, without Dumbledore to reign over the school and with Voldemort gaining power, Hogwarts was not be the safe haven adults made it out to be.

"All I have to do is keep it together until Christmas," she said to herself. "I'll be going home and won't be coming back." She smiled.


End file.
